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If you are in immediate danger, call 911. For free, anonymous help at any time, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (7233) or 800-787-3224 (TTY), chat on its website, or text START to 88788.
Intimate partner violence (IPV), also called domestic violence, is abuse within a romantic relationship. The partner may be a current or former spouse or dating partner. It can happen once or go on over time, and it can affect anyone, whatever their income or education. How common it is is hard to know, because it often goes unreported.
The forms it takes
| Type | What it looks like |
|---|---|
| Physical | hurting or trying to hurt a partner — hitting, kicking or other force |
| Sexual | forcing or trying to force a partner into sexual activity they don't or can't consent to — sex acts, sexual touching, or non-physical acts such as sexting |
| Emotional | threats, name-calling, put-downs and humiliation; controlling behavior, such as dictating how a partner acts or dresses, or keeping them from family and friends |
| Economic (financial) | controlling a partner's access to money |
| Stalking | repeated, unwanted contact that makes the partner afraid or worried for their safety — watching or following them, repeated unwanted calls or texts |
Warning signs in someone you care about
Do they:
- have cuts or bruises they can't explain?
- avoid friends, family and things they used to enjoy?
- make excuses for their partner's behavior?
- seem uncomfortable or afraid around their partner?
Does their partner:
- yell at them or make fun of them?
- try to control them by making every decision?
- check up on them at work or school?
- force them into sexual acts they don't want?
- threaten self-harm if they try to leave?
If it's happening to you
Your safety comes first. If you're not in immediate danger:
- Get medical care if you've been hurt or sexually assaulted.
- Call a helpline — the hotline above — and find out where to get help locally; contact local organizations that can help.
- Plan to leave safely. Abuse usually doesn't get better. Think about somewhere safe to go and everything you'll need when you leave.
- Keep evidence — photos of injuries, threatening emails or texts — somewhere the abuser can't reach.
- Talk to someone you trust: a relative, friend, co-worker or spiritual leader.
- Consider a restraining order.
If it's happening to someone you love
Tell them that being treated this way isn't healthy, and that it's not their fault. Then:
- Call 911 if they're in immediate danger.
- Learn the signs and keep track of the ones you see.
- Gather local resources — addresses and phone numbers — so you can share them when they're ready.
- Pick a safe, private time to talk. Their partner may be able to see their phone or computer, so be careful what you send by text or email.
- Be specific about the behaviors that worry you.
- Help plan for safety. If they're ready to leave, help them plan to get out as safely as possible; an intimate partner violence counselor can help make a safety plan.
- Be patient and don't judge. They may not be ready to talk. Let them know you're there whenever they are, and that you'll listen without judging.
Sources
Based on the MedlinePlus health topic "Intimate Partner Violence," National Library of Medicine; a work of the United States government in the public domain.
Licenza: CC0 1.0 (pubblico dominio) · Tratto da medlineplus.gov
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